Ted Lasso: The show that every man (and everybody else) should watch
Before you spam me about me being a phallocratic sexist pig, I do not claim that women will not or should not take liking on this amazing piece of fiction. In addition, I do not believe that due to its football nature that is catered only to men. This is not why I made the claim in the title. I mean the whole point of this article is to explain why. So just be patient. And at the end of the day what are you going to do? Cancel me? Bitch I'm a nobody, I cannot be canceled.
Anyway. Sit back relax and let's analyse this amazing show that is more than just a sports drama but rather a deep dive in sports psychology, modern masculinity, daddy issues (not the ones you want your girlfriend to have) and more.
"A man shall never showeth his true feelings"
Let's begin with the basic stuff you can see initially and are pretty much on the surface of the show.
Ted Lasso's character is introduced as one of the most wholesome men you will see in the small screen. He is full with enthusiasm and charisma, accompanied by his tongue-to-cheek humor and endless charming chatter. He is seen to have a very optimistic look in life and an average viewer of the first episodes would claim that this guy has life all figured out. He is an American that arrives in the nihilistic UK to coach a sport that he does not even know the rules of, with a big smile. While everyone and everything seems to be against him, he takes this with joy sets to prove everyone wrong.
People would kill to have this outlook in life, where every obstacle is seen as a way to improve one's self. However, as you may have understood, this is not the case. This is not a cartoon. This is a show that is characterised by its roller coaster of emotions. While Ted faces the doubts of Richmond's (the club he is coaching) supporters, he faces his own Sissyphus-like struggles. But this is where our first point begins.
Ted Lasso can be used as an example for many of today's men. He carries the weight of his own problems alone, sharing only glimpses of what he really feels and eventually hides them behind a happy fiasco which is nothing more than an act. This eventually breaks him momentarily. He lashes out for a moment, hurting a person close to him.
Again, this is not a behaviour that belongs specifically to men, but remember, even today's men were raised with the classics of "men do not cry" , "emotions are weakness" and other macho-man bullshit that have created a generation of emotionally damaged individuals that do not know how to deal with their issues.
Adding to that, this along with the stigma of men's mental health is also showcased in Season 2, where it is publicised that Ted has been facing panic attacks due to reasons that I do not want to spoil for you.
The point is, Ted just like every person alive, does not want to show his vulnerability which results to him storming out and trying to face this alone. In an utopian world, I wish for the normalisation of stopping everything to treat to people who are facing panic attacks (however this will never come true, because in today's world, mental health is being used as an attention seeking method)
Daddy issues (not the sexy kind)
We all have seen Barney Stinson and the comedic approach of How I Met Your mother's approach towards daddy issues. However, while HIMYM had also some emotional scenes regarding the relationship of Barney and his long-lost dad, Ted Lasso explores this in a much more realistic way in my opinion. Firstly we have Nate, a kit boy once who was turned into an assistant coach from Lasso, who saw his potential.
Nate,an once insecure and shy man, is now so proud of himself (as he should) because of his promotion and he wants his family to know. However, Nate faces something that is very common in the life of many men; a never satisfied father. A whole episode is centered around Nate getting over his insecurities and becoming assertive to get a window seat to his dad's favourite restaurant. However when he eventually grows the confidence to demand it, his father shakes it off as nothing, revealing us that he would never be satisfied with his son, something that gives Nate's insecurity a clear origin.
Men all over the world have faced the figure of an emotionally unavailable dad who is never proud or satisfied from his children's accomplishments. This may be due to the fact that they compare themselves to the kids and feeling either superior or inferior, but always react the same way; too proud to admit the kid's accomplishments. Making your parents proud is something we all have in common, and their gratification is a vital part towards the healthy upbringing of a child. However, the lack of satisfaction can cause a spiral towards a kid and eventually break him or her down. This is amazingly explored through Nate's character development which shows him spiraling and eventually taking his anger out at a person he should not have.
On the other hand, the show also shows another form of parental abuse from the story of Jamie Tart. Jamie Tart is shown occasionally as a straight up asshole and a narcissistic person who seems to love himself more than anything in the world. However, the shows mature approach showcases that every evil asshole in this world has a reason to act like this. And 90% of the reason, has to do with the upbringing of a person.
After the building us a portrait of the stereotypical bully for Jamie Tart, we are presented to his dad in the season finale where Jamie's dad is scolding him for making a pass instead of taking it upon himself and scoring the goal by himself.
At the end of the day, as you may have heard, we subconsciously make the mistakes of our parents, or we try to avoid them and end up creating new ones. In the case of Jamie Tart, he is seen so full of himself while having so many insecurities due to his own dad being his worst critic.
The role of a male role model is a major part in the upbringing of a man. And as showcased in the case of Jamie, it can have severe effects on the personality development. On the opposite spectrum of Nate, Jamie has battled this through extreme narcissism, thinking that he is better than everybody else. This all leads up to one of the most beautiful scenes in the show that I will not spoil. That scene however, shows us that we can finally break free from the paths that our parents set for us, either through shitty parenting or violent behavior. This teaches a valuable lesson for everybody;
We are not our parent's children. We are are own people with our own flaws and choices.
Smile through the pain
Lastly, we have another lesson from a different character, and that is the lowkey character of Coach Beard who is the best friend of Ted Lasso. The first lesson we can take from Beard is to be a real upfront friend. When he is mad at Ted for a loss and his perspective on it, he lets him know. As a man, you are taught to sugarcoat everything and to try and not make anyone mad in today's society. This can make you feel like you are a shell of yourself as you are constantly stepping on eggshells, making sure you do not partake in a conflict.
I say fuck that. Conflict is needed.
Through conflict, changes are made. Through conflict, you raise awareness for any issues you may encounter which if you may have bottled in, it would kill you.
However, this is not the only thing we can take from Mr Beard.
In one of the most bizzare,weird and one of my personally favourite episodes, has to do with Beard's life after the curtains close. Following an embarassing loss, Beard goes in his room where his failure taunts him. As a result, he goes on a bender where his spirals out of control in a crazy adventure in London's nightlife scene. This finds him, getting chased by a jacked guy for a misunderstanding, getting kicked out of a hotel, getting beat up and him being broken up about his toxic on-and-off relationship. However, at the end of the day, Beard is seen dancing in a night club and having the time of his life. While his toxic ex is there too, I wanted to see this scene as something else.
In this chaotic existence, problems will keep rising and you will eventually have to face them. In bad days you are most likely to fall under the pressure and fold. However, this does not mean you should be sad about it. Accepting a momentary defeat is not a weakness. A weakness is being constantly bummed about it and complaining instead of trying to find a way to solve whichever problem you are facing.
Moreover, Beard is finally seen in one of the worst nights in his life, dancing his pain away and being fucking proud of it.
Conclusion:
Ted Lasso is a show that every man should watch. The lessons that revolve around masculinity are very well researched and are developed in a way that do not feel forced. There are many other aspects of the show that tackle the challenges a modern man may face including one of my worst fears which is actually going to therapy. However, I do not want to spoil anything else as this may result in you not seeing the show. If you do, please send me a message so we can discuss it together. Thank you for reaching the end and I hope you enjoyed another blog.